don't you just want to run around and play?

Today is the exact kind of day i live for. the day when you finally get to roll all the windows down in your car while you drive on the highway with amazing music turned up so loud you can't even hear yourself singing along. the air smells like miracle grow because everyone is out enjoying the splendor. this kind of day, and feeling, ranks way up there in the list of the best feelings in the world. thank you sunshine.

avast ye mother fuckers!

actual caption: Greg draws the world's greatest Olympic athlete ever - Unicorn Phelps, who so far has won four medals at the Mythical Woodland Creature Olympics.

so on sunday april 20th, wink wink i was watching a fox news show called the red eye. entertaining us with gut busting stories like "airlines to charge double for fat people" or "this ny times writer is boycotting jeans" shit like that.  So i got to thinking, maybe this show put all of their most ridiculous stories together for this particular day (4/20 at midnight) to try and coax some budmen from adult swim over to the news. boost the ratings with some stories of absurdity.  

once this epiphany hits me, i look to the screen to confirm my theory and see that they're talking about all the recent pirate attacks on us ships.  somewhat disappointed, i realized that it wasnt all crazy puff pieces and they were talkin about some serious shit. but then I got to thinking... 

pirates have no land that they claim for their own. maybe theyre going to war with everyone in the one place they can defend their own, the sea.  now imagine if pirates took over the sea?? how much would that shit  change.  imagine if new jersey was then invaded? our lovely garden state would turn into a pirate country. picture how living in philly would be? we'd all have to get guns. we'd probably be pretty grimey deviant people.  all cuz of these fucking pirates.

either way, fox red eye is one fucking ridiculous show. damn.

-dj tanner

 

GARBAGE!

Everything in the world is just garbage-in-the-making. Garbage-to-be, if you will. People make a big deal out of trash laying around on the ground (and I'm not saying they shouldn't) but if we want to get serious and real, everything in the world is really just trash. We just don't think of things that way because they are things we use. If a house is abandoned it is considered and eye sore, a waste, and garbage. Well just because we are living in the house now doesn't mean it isn't doomed to the same fate. It too will one day be trash in a land fill. Sure, that won't happen for a long time, but it will. Cars, book bags, computers, buildings, swimming pools, on and on and on. It is all trash. I just think it is weird that just because something is in use at any given moment we don't see it as waste and trash and whatever. But as soon as a can is empty, or our shoes are dirty, or our house is empty, it is garbage. These issues are unavoidable, but it is still something to think about. I hope that some part of that made sense to people. I can't explain what I mean any better then that, but it makes total sense to me.

plaid party

plaid party.

hosted by Say Word and i'll Allow It.

the Andre flows.

and we party.

Randal Stevens son.

what do you knowww

stiff upper lip

dj tanner reporting live from where ever the hell i am. so randal stevens in its entirety along with miss asuka just returned from red robin for a lovely burger filled evening.our waitress' name was mina (and i hope that somehow she stumbles across this) and she was a bit jimmy fallon-esq (not an insult). she was a bit frazzled and it seemed like she lost herself a couple of times. we talked about bird tattoos and shit like that, spitting the breeze. from the beginning of the night til the end was a steady decline for her and she seemed to get a little overwhelmed, be it people bitching or just too much to handle. we celebrated "ill allow it's" birthday and got some nice ice cream and balloon heads. by the end she was tearin up, oscar acceptance speech style, and it broke randal stevens heart to see it. to make things worse, we call asshole manager over to try and save her name. fatty came over shirt untucked, lookin like trailor park death, and "say word" told him that she was workin it and she did some good work. her work game was on point. her waitress game was in need, but we still had a great time. assface managerface said he'd pass it on, but im sure he wont. so mina, if you ever come across this, fuck that dood. lets get bird tattoos and say fuck it.

The 90's leading lady....

We are watching Happy Gilmore and the boys do not feel the leading lady is "hot". (I have to agree with them. Her hair looks like a helmet.) We were discussing how funny it is that she was considered a babe (apparently) in the 90's and how a lot of leading ladies of the time seem to be the same way. We also noticed she looks a lot like Hillary Clinton. As Andrew loves a good conspiracy he of course came up with a brilliant idea of why they might resemble each other so much:

"Hillary Clinton funded Happy Gilmore. She chose the leading female to have similar features as herself. She knew the movie would be a hit and everyone would love the leading lady. This would subconsciously make us love the way Hillary Clinton looks. Thus, leading to the presidential campaign of 2008" - Andrew "baby serpent" Reiner's words of wisdom.

Our Guide on How To Look Forward To Getting Old

Andrew and I were just discussing the ridiculous things we will do when we are old. I can't wait to be an old lady so I can mess with everyone. Everyone let's old people say and do whatever they want, "because they're old". Like that's a real reason to let people do whatever. So I'm going to take full advantage of that. I'm going to wear stretchy metallic silver pants and dye my hair pink and grope all the fruit at the grocery store because no one will say shit about it. Andrew said he is going to "be a dirty old man" and say things like "I just shit my pants."

Today, Andrew turned me into a Demon....and yeah, I totally thought it was Friday morning.

true story.

time travel?
i just called chelsea l holmes on a cellular phone. She was taking a thursday afternoon nap. When she awoke from her nap she believed it was friday morning in her mind. so, it was actually friday morning in her mind, all of thursday night was gone, lost in her sleep. When i informed her it was thursday evening... you know the rest.

just a taste of things to come...

"I'll Allow It" Holmes here. So The other bloggers and I recently went on a trip to the Poconos in Pennsylvania. We were also with two of our other friends Lauren and Laurie. It was super fun and of course lots of dumb shit went down.

We wrote down a whole night's worth of quotes so we would remember the dumb shit we said. I just want to share a few choice ones here. For old times sake.

DJ Tanner helped me pick some:

- "Rule # 76 Laurie! Play like a champion!" - Jon "Say Word" Moore shared this little life lesson with Laurie. Good advice.

- "I wanna piss on your earlobe, maybe just a little on your nose" - Yo, who knows what the fuck this is about.

- " I want a little coffee finger up my ass" - the speaker of this quote told me not to write it down when it happened so I'll spare him and not tell you who said it, haha.

- " You tryin to take a shit in a nest or what?" - Ms. Lauren Virginia Chinery. I also don't know what context this happened in, but I love it. And her.

and my personal favorite!: " Shooting stars are the corner stones of society." - Thank you Jon.

Name: Jon "Say Word" Moore

You're a: None of your business.

You're here to: Speak for the people and drop knowledge on these suckas.