avast ye mother fuckers!

actual caption: Greg draws the world's greatest Olympic athlete ever - Unicorn Phelps, who so far has won four medals at the Mythical Woodland Creature Olympics.

so on sunday april 20th, wink wink i was watching a fox news show called the red eye. entertaining us with gut busting stories like "airlines to charge double for fat people" or "this ny times writer is boycotting jeans" shit like that.  So i got to thinking, maybe this show put all of their most ridiculous stories together for this particular day (4/20 at midnight) to try and coax some budmen from adult swim over to the news. boost the ratings with some stories of absurdity.  

once this epiphany hits me, i look to the screen to confirm my theory and see that they're talking about all the recent pirate attacks on us ships.  somewhat disappointed, i realized that it wasnt all crazy puff pieces and they were talkin about some serious shit. but then I got to thinking... 

pirates have no land that they claim for their own. maybe theyre going to war with everyone in the one place they can defend their own, the sea.  now imagine if pirates took over the sea?? how much would that shit  change.  imagine if new jersey was then invaded? our lovely garden state would turn into a pirate country. picture how living in philly would be? we'd all have to get guns. we'd probably be pretty grimey deviant people.  all cuz of these fucking pirates.

either way, fox red eye is one fucking ridiculous show. damn.

-dj tanner